We’ve all had our share of horrible bosses. The topic has been fresh on my mind, thanks to reports about how U.S. Senator and presidential hopeful Amy Klobuchar treats her staff. While women are often judged more harshly than men when it comes to being a boss, business leader, politician or even a parent, it’s a double-edged sword. Whereas difficult men are often lauded as strong leaders, difficult women are often branded as "tough to work with" or called names.
Regardless of gender, I’ve learned that it’s just bad management to be a bad boss. As Wharton professor Adam Grant recently said on social media, "'Demanding excellence' is not an excuse for being an abusive boss. You can have high standards and still treat people with respect. You can hold people accountable without belittling them."
Horrible, toxic or whatever you want to call it, a bad boss causes stress, and there’s no need for it in the workplace. So what can current and future bosses and leaders learn from this to correct course? For me, it’s about learning from past mistakes and acknowledging that no one is perfect -- not I nor the people who work with me. It’s about striking a balance between managing high standards and treating people with respect, communicating expectations and avoiding being the problem. Here’s a little of what I’ve learned on my journey to becoming a boss:
Trust is key.
According to a Harvard Business Review study, workplace trust is at an all-time low: 58% of respondents said they trust strangers more than their own boss.
In my case, I wanted to create something different, because it’s just not worth it to go to work every day with a sick feeling in your stomach about what lies ahead. What evolved was a non-hierarchical structure that combines a culture of mutual respect and amazing work ethic -- a business truly based on trust. We combine exceptional talent with professional freedom and flexibility -- such as a laidback remote structure and flexible hours -- and place trust in the team to do their best within that framework. Team members are trusted from the minute they send their first email; that’s why they were invited to join our team.
Trust allows bosses to establish clear and direct expectations for their team without the need for micromanaging the nitty-gritty, day-to-day details. I find that this yields better accountability, collaboration and communication. I also believe in aiming for honesty; people deserve to know how the boss feels about their work.
In building this culture of trust, you'll be better able to balance your time between the day-to-day work and focusing on the bigger picture of where you're going as a business. Plus, your team is more likely to return the favor and be flexible when needed.
Every opinion counts.
From formal meetings to laidback team strategy sessions, bosses should aim to create a level playing field, find value in the contributions of everyone in the room, and not act like a know-it-all. I’ve been on the other end -- sometimes as the only woman in the room -- and have learned that speaking up can be hard.
Today, I lead and attend meetings of all kinds with everyone from business leaders, to politicians, to government officials and more. It’s not always easy in these tough environments, but I challenge myself to call out great ideas, quote participants and put others at ease.
To create a more nurturing internal environment for our remote teams, our regular weekly call allows everyone an opportunity to speak, share and learn. Previous tough work environments sometimes stifle people's confidence to truly develop their full professional potential. That weekly call not only supports a positive environment, but also gives each person on the team the confidence to speak up and think outside the box. The emphasis should be on encouraging participation and open dialogue, rather than fear of being shut down.
Diffuse the stress.
I always tell my team, "If you aren’t having fun, then something isn’t working right." Life is too short, and work should be enjoyable. Stress is a big part of that -- knowing how to manage it and having trust that you have a solid team in place to fall back on when work is overwhelming. Plus, a stressed-out boss almost always equals a bad boss, sucking out the fun and negatively impacting morale, productivity and performance.
Instead, focus on creating a fun and positive work culture. For example, from participating in a yearly bike race for a good cause (and purchasing bicycles for every team member who wants to participate) to handing out Apple AirPods to ease the stress of our conference call schedules, our culture is designed to be a stress reliever. Need to run to a doctor’s appointment, knock off early for a child’s sporting event or care for a sick dog? No problem. As long as the team is meeting deadlines, we have no judgment on how time is managed in between.
We’re serious about our work, but I encourage the team to not get too hung up on stumbles and to try to add a healthy dose of humor to the job. It’s amazing how reducing workplace stressors and injecting some fun into the job can improve long-term morale.
Know your strengths.
Sometimes, bad bosses are just that because they don’t know how to manage people. Often, workers are promoted into leadership positions because they’re good at their jobs, but that doesn’t necessarily make them "boss" material.
Being a good boss isn’t necessarily an innate skill, and it doesn’t always come naturally. Yet, many managers receive no formal training, or they develop their own style by watching others. Specific training to fit individual needs and work situations is important. This can help to prevent those bad boss habits from developing in the first place and to maintain a positive workplace environment.
